So I have been terrible at blogging. This was supposed to be the one thing that kept any sanity in my life. Well, not to say that there hasn't been sanity, it's just...different. So, I had my final chemo this past Thursday! HOORAY! This has certainly been a journey, not one that I would want anyone to have to go through. In a month my hair should start growing back. I'm taking bets as to what color and texture it will be :)
I now know what it's like to have to be shut up in the house because I have no immune system. That only happened once, but it was scary nonetheless. I have never been good at accepting or asking for help from others, I am usually the caretaker. This reversal has been difficult for me and I am still learning how to deal with it. The Red Cross has set up shelters in the area due to the flooding of the Mighty Mo. It has been a helpless feeling to not be able to do what comes so naturally to me: run a shelter. But in the end, after the doctors and everyone told me NO! I have come to accept it, almost gracefully.
I always thought I would have a spiritual experience during something like this. My spirituality came not in the form of angels hovering above me but in the form of seeing the Universe all around me. Sri Krishna says to us the Bhagavad Gita "...Be humble, be harmless, have no pretension..." I think this is something that I have learned more of. I will have a Mikvah when this is all said in done, a ritual cleansing in the Jewish faith. I will say my prayers and rededicate myself to the Universe for the blessing of Life.
I am grateful for the lessons I have learned during this journey, but even more so, I am ever grateful for the strength I have found in myself, my friends and family, and most of all, in Love.
