Did I ever mention that I tried to be Hindu once? Yes. I was in search for God. For something. I thought I would become mystical. That didn't happen. I always heard these stories of people going through cancer as "finding something more than they already found." This hasn't happened. I think maybe I'm waiting for my room to light up and some random and beautiful angel will hover over me and give me some great message. You know, like what happens in Angels in America. This hasn't happened either. It's not as if I've lost my Faith, per se. It's more like I think I have to work at it to keep it. It just seems like I'm working so hard already. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Lately though, I think my reason is so that I can become a saint to the mangy squirrels in the trees. This is what has happened this past week of doctor-ordered home-boundness: I feed the squirrels, watch them, pray for them. In essence, I have become a "squirrel-peeper" much to the chagrin of my father who would love them in a way I can't fathom (with a pellet gun).This is my truth. I wish I could say it's the meds, but I can't use that anymore. So instead, I say that it's the boredom.
Perhaps Ganesha will remove the obstacle of cancer within me just as he will remove the obstacle of mange in my new friends.
Namaste.
It amuses me how tiny little furry creatures can provide quite the entertainment when you seem a bit bored. I have to say though that if that's one thing I miss at USD in Vermillion, it's the squirrels hehe lol :)
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