Hematoma

So I know it's been over a week since I posted. It's the Polish Procrastination Gene I carry...seriously though. It makes me delayed for everything in my life! So last week I had a double mastectomy and node removal. My friends and nurses were awesome to say the least. When it came time to go home (and believe me I was ready) I thought about taking the nurses with me. It would have been kind of like Big Love, only different. It's strange to see the little bulge of a belly I have without breasts to balance me out. In their place is a horizontal scar that states loudly "Yes, breasts were here!" I have a port for chemo put in on my left side. It's foreign to have this thing in me that slightly protrudes and itches as the stitches dissolve. I had three drains put into place. My son nicknamed them my "babies" because I would carry them as I walked. I had them removed on Wednesday. Hallelujah! But wait! Before we sing a praise unto the Universe I have to tell you this story. I giggle at the grossness of it now, but really, I was terrified. OK: so I'm eating lunch at Yesterday's Cafe when all of a sudden I feel wet. I look down and pull up my shirt a little. There is a lot of drainage coming out from where the drains had been. A little was to be expected but this was more than that. In the car I look. Sure enough where I had no breast an hour ago I had one now. Back to the doctor's office. Hematoma. "It has to come out. Now." As the nurse takes off the dressing (mind you I am sitting up), blood squirts everywhere! I am given local anesthesia and my doctor takes the scalpel to me. The sound of skin being cut is something I never really wanted to know about outside of horror movies. At the end of this process I see it. Nasty! Gross! Intriguing! It had to be taken out in four different pieces after she had gotten two other pieces out. It was like a really well-set jello. This version of it is much more mild than how I tell it verbally. Trying to spare to reaction of heaving that it has gotten. Moral of the story: I should have been more specific when I prayed for new boobs.